Sunday, March 22nd, 2020
It’s Sunday and a beautiful spring day stretches out ahead. The birds are filling the trees with their song and picking through the newly mowed grasses for seeds and displaced worms. For them, it is a day. Any day. Getting on with their rhythm as they do.
We have been house-bound for a week now and though the cat follows me everywhere I am not sure if he loves me or just doesn’t trust that I am going to foil his routine somehow, I am slowly creating a new rhythm too. It is one where I am very much a part of it, unlike the usual one where I get the ball rolling and leave the house to DO life, now I am in it. All day.
After the first few days of brain fog and reassessing what can and cannot be done, I started to set out small tasks for each day. Count lemons with kiddo, plant the garden, shower and plan how to use last night’s potatoes today. Short of swinging between being a candidate for a “Little House on the Prairie” episode and Blanche Dubois “ I have always relied on the kindness of strangers”, there is a part of all of this that is like that long held breath being slowly and cleanly exhaled.
All those moments when I have wished I could keep up with my life… keep the hummingbird feeder full, sweep the leaves from the path to my door, open mail the day I get it… the little things. Now I have time. Time to grind coffee and inhale it’s many memories, hang laundry out to capture the sun for later in the week when it rains and eat each and every meal with my kiddos. I am, despite the B side, relishing this.
The flip side is less idyllic, but equally important and immediate. It is also far less an individual thing even though it starts there. Jobs lost or hanging mid air means eventually our resourcefulness now and our connection to each other may be all that can assure us of our survival. We are being asked to train our brain and emotions away from fear and reptilian survival mode and into common sense and community survival. This is it. This is what we have all wanted on some level. To quell the fear and anger and hatred and gorging on stupid things, on beliefs that harm and on the “me first”... as though somehow we will be the first to never die. It really is as big as that. Faced with our possible death we are being sat down and asked to construct a life that would be worth living, if in fact we manage to survive. It is imperative that we do this. That we find out how we would do that with friends or with foe? After all, we will, at some point, be surviving by relying on the kindness of strangers.
The birds are diving across the blue between the trees. They did this last year too. Every spring morning...just waiting for me to notice and have time to follow their flight. What is coming next is not what we have had… it must be better… so enjoy this, plan for that and share your love...from a wee distance.