June 15th 2018
With the recent suicides of Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain I found myself asking “Why?”. I’m pretty sure I’m not the only one asking that. I also wonder why I am asking. What does their death do to my life besides the initial shock of it? Surely those sharing their journey are shattered and their admirers saddened by the force of Emptiness that took their loved ones and offers them little comfort in its wake.
I finally stopped wondering “Why” when I noticed the question “What” was patiently waiting for me to find it. What edge did they come to, yet again, that they could no longer fight? What edge had they moved around or stepped over or pushed through as their lives lit up up the world in ways I can only imagine? Their final gesture, painful and releasing, a note to us all to honor the day, find the magic in the moment and to seek out true connections.
It was really a reminder that the journey is never easy, that the goal is never achieved and living your truth may be what it is about.
I try so hard to not see my life as linear, but fail most days. I have been working and pushing forward, as we do, smelling the roses etc along the way, connected, as they were, to family and friends - but they had “achieved” that plateau, that goal of success. The world knew and loved what they offered, they had the money and people in their lives to make anything happen and, could travel, eat and love as they designed. What edge did they come to, over and again that they could no longer pass?
I’m not completely sure, but I wonder if it is the edge of “enough”?
I am enough at this moment. I am enough even if I never achieve more than what I have done so far. I am enough and have given enough. I can do more and give more, but not because it defines me, but because that is what I do. What I have is enough, even if others have more. My place in this world is enough and I don’t need to take away or from others to make my space grow. I wonder if somewhere the exhaustion of keeping up with Enough took its toll. Enough can be a voracious monster to feed.
I think that is what our tribe is for - to let us know that as we are… we are enough.